“It would be a shame to spoil such a good friendship.” This sentence is a nightmare for most men, especially those, who try to escape friend zone. In fact women have a key role in sexual selection, that means choosing mate is mostly their duty. The evidence for this is women use to be more picky than men.
The society condition boys to put women in pedestal, and if you are not part of the game you must be gay. Men are expected to evaluate woman more than himself, and do every possible thing to get woman. That is, the tendency to start the bargain from the worst possible position. But who goes to a poker party revealing their cards in front of their card partners, which guarantees failure? Sounds crazy, right? But society exactly expects men acting like this.
The worst possible thing is for men to beg for women’s favors. Women have absolutely no respect toward beggars. Sexual selection in turn is a market, and in market there’s no room for beggars.
I consider chasing women an absolute waste of time. If a woman doesn’t like you, you can do anything, she will ignore you anyway. And if a woman likes you, she’ll do whatever it takes to somehow get your attention and get in touch with you.
Chasing girls is useless, instead you should chase goals, and improve yourself, getting social proof, and then girls will come without asking. My advice you should not deal with girls whatsoever.
If the girl still wants to get in touch with you, you ought not to be nice, but neither to be rude, unapproachable, and rejecting. Give her the attention and respect you give to everyone you talk to, but no more. Never initiate flirt. Answer her questions normally, and let her go. That’s it. She is going to reveal her intent anyways.
In this case, the opportunistic instinct to get a woman emerges from most men, and they lose the desired lady’s all respect at the same time. They are mad to get girls, and become pusshy, and it raises a red flag even for that girl, who is otherwise liking the guy. No wonder, this is when the abrasive answer comes, “let’s be just friends”.
In fact, true unconditional love cannot be based on a romantic relationship that is full of expectations. But in the objection, there is the “just” friends phrase, which degrades the value of true friendship and sets it as inferior to romantic love. The word of “just” qualifies the friendship, and degrades it as well. But true friendship goes far beyond romance in quality.
Moreover the friendship is the most ideal, or only ideal relationship. The question is aimed at whether this friendship can exist between a man and a woman, especially in such a way that they are even physically attracted to each other. The society denies the possibility of this, or they must be gay.
I didn’t believe in this possibility before. But I saw a series about the life of Saint Francis, and something struck me. As we know, Saint Francis, along with his followers, withdrew from society to live a holy life, which began with the restoration of an ancient abandoned, ruined stone temple. They were accompanied by a girl whose parents wanted to marry her, but she wanted to live as a bride for Christ.
One of the friends asked Saint Francis what if this girl is only with us because she fell in love with you. To this doubt, Saint Francis answered that he knows the girl and that her intentions were pure. This sentence struck me, and captured my attention, “her intentions were pure”.
What is impure intention? Romantic love that is based on selfishness and the acquisition and possessing of the other? Is this really the only relationship that can exist between a man and a woman? According to society, yes, and evolution also dictates this, it’s natural. Women want children because they are programmed to do so, they need a man for this, and men want a woman.
However, there is a range above this. This is unconditional love, or Christlike love.
If we observe the conversation of the average man with the average woman, we can see that it lacks of any intellectual level even more than of the sexually neutral conversation. One reason for this may be that they are playing games with each other, because they want to acquire each other. But I want to converse only, at the highest possible intellectual level. Why? Because my intentions are pure. Is friendship between a man and a woman still possible?
My answer, based on my own experience, is yes, it is possible, but with certain conditions. First, both parties must have a high level of emotional intelligence. And second, they must have a high consciousness, and correctness towards each other. Intelligence and consciousness are not the same, however so many use to confuse them. They must clarify at the very beginning, what they want from each other.
If these conditions are met, and no one has ulterior motives, no one starts playing games to get the other, wonderful friendships can develop between men and women. This is not a theory, this is my personal experience.
Thanks for reading!