I’ll tell you why I don’t see the benefit of physical attraction. Imagine one who attracts you physically fell in love with you. Sounds great eh? You hit the jackpot. Not really. Your crush fell in love not with you but with an image in her/his mind. This idealized image belongs to a mind of your crush not to you. This image was created under effects of sexual hormones, and does not represents what is really you. It’s a superficial portion of you.
Your crush actually does every possible thing in order to force the reality into that image. And all you see are an expectations towards you to make you fit into this image. According to Kant’s Critique of Pure reason the subject is an image of object but it doesn’t belong to an object itself. The subject belongs to mind that created it. Just like the long forgotten event came to your mind, but you no longer remember of the event itself, but a moment when the event came to your mind. This is the memory of not an event, but memory of the moment of remembering of event. The memory is an imagination of event.
You created an image in image of the event, which has nothing to do with the event anymore. So you remember an image of an image only. What happens when you begin dating someone who is love with you? You both create a union with each other, an emotional symbiosis actually. But in reality you are in union with image only, that’s the product of your mind. Without having a chance to attach to the true reality of your crush you are in union with your pure expectations.
You have a crush on someone, but that belongs to you and not to your crush. But you have to pay a price for being in union with your fantasy. You’re no longer in union with your true self. Your true self is the only reality that you can grasp. But you break up with yourself to get someone else. Your crush who is in union with image of you, but not with you. You want to meet the expectations of your imagination on someone, to make someone meet your expectations. You are an actor, a gamer, but not your true self.
And this might be the reason why physical attraction can be even more intimidating than rejection. It splits your personality, thus breaks the union with your true self. You’re forced to mask your true character.
You imagine that you want to know your crush better. In fact you do every possible thing not to face the reality of your crush. Because reality disables the romantic love in every possible cases. You fell in love with the love only. And this is a bitter truth that no one wants to hear. The romantic feeling is no way personal.
Thanks for reading me!
A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I do think that you ought to publish more about this issue, it may not be a taboo matter but typically folks dont speak about such topics. To the next! Cheers!!
Itís difficult to find well-informed people on this subject, but you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks